The crusading District Attorney-cum-New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, the man who ran roughshod over Wall Street and the insurance industry, the man who destroyed reputations in his insatiable quest for ever higher political office, is also a man who reportedly spent $80,000 on prostitutes.
Whores. Hey, just because they command $5,500 an hour doesn't make them anything special. As my dad says, they're "hoo-ers."
Women and men have differing views when it comes to the intimate personal services industry known as prostitution. Women have trouble grasping the whole concept, in the best possible moral way. Guys think, "The dude's a loser. He has to pay for it." Power, money, prestige...and he's shelling out mid four figures for a little strange? As in, what's up with Charlie Sheen?
And what's with trotting the wife out in front of the cameras? Silda Spitzer joins the long line of political spouses forced into the obligatory "stand by your man" role. The poor woman looks like she's been either been hit by a train, or she hit the Absolut pretty heavy before strolling out with the Crusading Panderer. Just once I'd like to see a politician's wife snort into the camera, mutter something about bullshit, and walk off the stage.
Gov. Spitzer's holier-than-thou mien makes this a story with legs. Not even Al-Qaeda can knock this putz off the front page. Google shows 1,330,000 results, and 1,329,998 are probably related to his Emperors Club VIP status. Clay feet? Up to the knees.
Like Idaho's Senator Larry Craig, it's not what they did as much as who did it. Don't hold yourself as the paragon of family values if you have a "wide stance." Don't play Hercules cleaning the Stygian Stables of Wall Street when your own stable has a distinctly Runyonesque air.
Ah, Eliot...go quietly into the night...but go quickly as well. And Silda, throw his stuff on the lawn, change the locks and hire the best divorce lawyer in New York.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
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