Basically, if you are older than 8 and not a wee girl, you shouldn't care at all about the Royal Wedding. Grown-ass people invested in a ceremony of which they have no earthly connection staggers the mind.
Last week, while pursuing the noble trout at Lee's Ferry, the inimitable Cap'n Bill, my usual accomplice in these outdoor sojourns, attempted to ask me a question but was so thwarted by paroxyms of laughter, that he was unable to expel the simple interrogatory. This preceded the cigar and a couple of wee drams, so you couldn't even accuse the Cap'n of being in his cups. When he finally was able to get his breath and laughing under control he asked, "Have you purchased your Royal Wedding commemorative plate yet?"
Commemorative plates, mugs, paper dolls, magazine covers...you can buy it all. All destined to become collectors items!
My arse.
Reality Bites:
This segues quite nicely into one of my own personal oddities, my refusal to watch a single episode of any reality TV show. Survivor, never seen it. American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, Jersey Shore, ad nauseum...nope. I don't know who got voted off the island and I've never made a telephone call to support a manufactured warbler or hoofer. How all this suddenly became news baffles me. Shouldn't the news be explaining to us the difference between the Shiites and the Sunnis?
More people are well-versed in how Linday Lohan fared in prison than in the nuances between the aforementioned rival Muslim sects.
The Police Blotter, aka, the NFL:
The sports world is gearing up for the National Football League draft, another narcotizing exercise made even more marginal by the fact that there might not even be an NFL season. Imagine, waiting 15 breathless minutes for the Cleveland Browns to announce their pick for the next future felon. Heart stopping!
For the record, there hasn't been an NFL season for me since that spoiled pissant, Eli Manning, pouted on national TV in the shadow of his even more annoying father, and sulked about being drafted by the San Diego Chargers. Maybe we do need an NFL season...it would cut down on the number of knifings.
The Donald, for President?
Really. http://www.breadbucket.com/ created a list of 10 possible slogans for The World's Most Annoying Man. My favorite: If You Shaved a Jaundiced Yeti’s Nutsack and Put it on a Man’s Head, I Would Be That Man. Makes me nostalgic for Pat Paulsen.
Obama, a natural born citizen?
Lordy, what will my uber right buddies decry now? Course, the birth certificate showing up at this point in time begs the question Why did it take 3 years to be released? I have a theory. It was underneath the Rose Law Firm billing records left over from Clinton administration.
Christopher Hitchens still has game:
My favorite curmdugeon penned a brilliant desciption of Prince Charles, the heir to the throne of England. "..a man who--like the fruit of the medlar--went rotten before he turned ripe."
Anything else, and I'd just be piling on.
